Loving Anne

In the fall of 2004, Anne and I had been dating steadily for two years. Anne’s friend Bonnie, then a sought-after wedding cake creator, asked Anne early in the week if she would want to deliver a wedding cake to Port Townsend on Saturday. Anne said sure and asked me if I wanted to come. After delivering the cake, we could spend the day in Port Townsend before returning home.

This was my chance, I thought. I had been wanting to propose to Anne and was trying to decide just how and where I would do it. I decided to make a tiny story book called “Anne’s Favorite Day” that would end in the suggestion of a proposal, after which I would pop the question. I began work on the book. I had a small plastic case lying around that I wanted the book to fit in, so I measured the space and began writing and designing the book, assembling lots of fun pictures that I thought Anne would like. With the book completed, I purchased a box of Crunch ‘n Munch, ate a little, and then tucked the book just under the surface. I stowed the box in the back of my car.

The trip up to Port Townsend was nice, and the wedding cake delivery went smoothly. Afterward, we walked around Port Townsend a little, and then drove over to nearby Fort Worden park to walk on the beach. Just after parking and starting to walk, I said, “I’ve got some Crunch ‘n Munch” in the back…I’ll go get it.” With the box now in hand, we started walking the beach. I reached in and took a little, making sure I could easily feel the hidden prize.

“Want some?” I said.

She took the box and dipped her hand in. “What’s this?”, she said, pulling it out.

“I guess it’s the prize inside”, I returned.

“Crunch ‘n Munch doesn’t have prizes.” she said knowingly, turning it over to see that it read “Anne’s Favorite Day, a Story by Brent”.

“Why don’t you read it?”, I said. She removed the diminutive book from it’s case and read the story. At the end of the story, she looked at me and I told her how wonderful she is and asked her if she would marry me. She immediately said yes. It was the best decision I ever made!

Here’s a video of me reading “Anne’s Favorite Day”

Anne remains unconscious. She has been off sedation for two days. If you are wondering if that means she is in a coma, the answer is yes. A coma is a deep state of prolonged unconsciousness. GCS (Glasgow Coma Scale) is used to measure the depth of coma with 3 or 3T being the lowest and 15 being the highest (a fully awake, alert, conversant person). The total score is a combination of three component test scores: eye (1-4), verbal (1-5), and motor (1-6). Anne is 3T currently. The T means she is intubated and not capable of making verbal responses. In short, Anne has a long journey ahead. The doctors ordered an MRI which should hopefully be performed tonight and evaluated tomorrow. It will give a more detailed picture of what is happening in her brain than the CT scans.

Today we played Anne several more songs including “Inside Out” by Spoon and “Strawberry Letter 23” by The Brothers Johnson. I read Anne some more of your lovely cards.

The time is October 2002. I decided to give the world of online dating a try…in this case Match.com. Browsing through the Match profiles, I came across one that had no photos at all, but was uncommonly well written and quite funny. One part of it read, “I like cat juggling, gasoline fights, and I can milk anything with nipples.” The first two parts I was pretty sure were movie references to The Jerk and Zoolander but I didn’t recognize the third. I wrote her (“SeaTowner”) a message saying that I thought her profile was pretty funny and that I recognized The Jerk and Zoolander, but what was the third reference from? She wrote me back saying it was from “Meet the Parents” (which I had not yet seen for some reason). She said her 30-day free trial for Match.com was about over and she wasn’t going to pay to renew as the only other guy she had met was way too into ferns. She gave me her e-mail in case I wanted to keep chatting.
 
E-mails led to phone calls which led to setting up a date for drinks at Mapleleaf Grill, a bar and eatery just up the street from my (old) house. I arrived first and a few minutes later, Anne breezed in the door. We had a great time talking and ended up having dinner as well. We talked a lot about movies that we had or hadn’t seen. I asked her if she had seen Dick? She scoffed a little. She had heard of it but had assumed from the title that it was just some stupid low-brow movie. I told her I thought it was a pretty smart comedy about two ditzy girls involved with Nixon and Watergate and that it was hilarious, and given what I had learned so far about her movie tastes, I thought she would probably like it. I told her that I had a big screen TV and Dick on DVD and we could watch it after dinner if she wanted to keep the date going. She agreed and followed me back down the street to my house. We made some popcorn and watched Dick together and she agreed it was hilarious. She drove home after the movie, and I left a message on her machine for her to hear when she got home, saying what a great time I had with her.

When recounting how we met, we will sometimes tell people that I showed her Dick on our first date. Anne likes many kinds of humor including the sophomoric kind.

On Tuesday night, several of Anne’s co-workers at Bryant Elementary gathered in Anne’s library, the heart of the school, to write cards, send healing thoughts, and share what they love about Anne. I will be reading your cards and comments to Anne…more than once. My stretch goal is to get through each one without breaking down. It’s a process.

Thank you Bryant staff, her extended library team, educators, and everyone else that is pulling for Anne.

Anne and I share a love of music and enjoy a lot of common music artists including Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Peter Gabriel, The Cure, The Alarm, Fleet Foxes, and many many more. One group I introduced her to early on was Death Cab for Cutie. We attended their concert last Saturday and really enjoyed it.

Today I played the song “Transatlanticism” in her room. The song is about a long-distance relationship but right now, the refrain “I need you so much closer” really hits hard. On a related note, this is the first song that Kate requested by name when she was two years old….but she called it “So Much Closer”. We knew what she meant.

Here are some of Anne’s favorite songs on Spotify. This is her playlist that I can also edit. She adds to it periodically. Other times when I am playing something she likes, she says, “What’s that? Add that to my list!”

I’m setting up this site to provide updates to everyone on Anne’s condition and to also add some memories of who Anne was and is. This is the first post and will be updated with additional details soon.